Your word is a lamp before my feet and a light for my journey ~Psalms 119:105
‘Hope in Chaos’, ‘looking for the light in darkness’ are two phrases I seem to grasp at, as I look around this broken world. Including my own seemly overwhelming problems. Where each day presents more insecurities in my job, relationships and again finances (for a stable future.) Which gives me anxiety and a need to become the wrong type of a people pleaser. (Because being liked helps). To people who clearly want to see me fail. Strange how that sort of attitude can slow my progress in seeing any hope.
But, I can’t allow it to, though it’s difficult. Especially, now that it’s a new year with unseen obstacles of its own. Even if seconds seem like hours during some of my darkest moments. I need to do my best not to submit to depression, anger and hatred. Nor, will I allow an angry or hurt person, to use me as their mirrored inner turmoil.
There certainly isn’t any hope in that. Nevertheless, I have the power to choose to show peace, instead. By, looking for joy in the smallest things. Or something simple, no cost, but priceless to me. Those, things could be anything, like a thank you, when I’ve felt under appreciated at work.
I will accept it. Own it and feel it in my heart. Because, I need to ,hear that moment. Or, a friend might text me saying, “the spirit of the Lord spoke to her and asked her to pray for me”. Which is big and a true story. Still, I can’t always rely on people to pick me up, I have to do for myself.
In fact, I have to become active during my dark place, that I share with others (work, school, home, etc.) immediately. This is where I wish I could have a cure-all answer on how to do that in such surroundings. But, my best advice is to look for answered hope!
Why? Because of the definition of Hope: a feeling of expectation and wish for a certain thing to happen.
*Word of advice anyone being bullied or getting the “mean girl” treatment from people who already graduated all school levels (Adults). They hate to see you happy more than to see you cry or run. They, hate to see you succeed more than fail. So, Live your life and become awsomer!!!!!
Again, I keep my focus on small things, because when I’m in despair, I want to see something big happen and right away. But, it rarely happens. So, I keep it simple like, being thankful for being blessed another day to win another battle, even if it looks like am losing, to the opposing side. Even that long second, is a gift. (I mean seeing a second last that long is a gift in it’s self) So, why not use it to hear Jehovah’s spirit in Jesus Christ, instead of its duration.
Or I could be the light to someone else, unexpectedly and watch the joy bloom across someone’s face. Text, my friend and tell them, they’re in my prayers, too. Or text a funny and cute pet photo, just any good and positive thing to get away from the chaos. As well as keeping busy, going for walks and a hobby helps, too. Also, having a meal outside of the workplace is a beacon of light.
By, doing some of those things I feel better. The situation seems lighter and less dramatic. Due to my change of emotions I seem to have overlooked some friendly supporters. I also seem ready, (which is the key to almost every healing process) to move on and take notice of what other gifts God has granted me today. Because, mischief never rests and is ready for its next opportunity.
Which is why I should never mind the sun’s not shining today. But, remember that it will. I need to keep my mind on the good stuff and the amazing things that will soon happen. Because, even the thickest of fogs and darkness can’t last forever, but certain elements of the earth have shone through it all, since creation. No matter how long it seems. Which is temporary. Because, Jehovah has given me strength through Jesus Christ to make things possible during the seemly impossible times.
So, note to self, “stay ready!”